We’ve all been hearing the rumors lately that Leonardo DiCaprio, American environmentalist and Martin Scorsese contract player, has been dating Rihanna, Barbadian pop sensation and Instagram enthusiast. It’s an exciting rumor for a variety of reasons. First, it’s an interesting change of pace that Rihanna, while objectively beautiful, is not a 22-year-old swimsuit model. That tends to be the kinda gal that DiCaprio dates, but now he’s dating a 27-year-old musician. So, just something different! It’s also an intriguing rumor because Rihanna is cool enough that maybe she can do something about this whole situation. It’s a good rumor!
And now maybe it’s more than that. TMZ has published two photos of DiCaprio at Rihanna’s birthday party from a couple weeks back. (Her birthday was February 20. Happy belated, RiRi!) So maybe that is confirmation that they are a couple? They are not kissing in the photos, or anything like that. In fact they don’t even seem to be TALKING in the photos, but still. Still! Leo went to Rihanna’s birthday party so they’re totally in love. And if it’s true that they’re dating, then maybe it means it’s true that Rihanna wants him to get in better shape, which would be kind of delightful. I doubt that Leonardo DiCaprio is all that used to women he dates telling him to improve himself! Maybe Gisele did, but I don’t really see many of the others doing that. Which is presumptuous of me, I know. I don’t know any of those other women. But if you’re some 22-year-old kid who got plucked out of a fashion show and brought to the inner sanctum of the P. Posse, are you really going to tell its 40-year-old ringleader that he needs to lose weight? I kind of doubt it.
But Rihanna will. Oh yes, Rihanna has no compunction about that. Which is why this could, potentially, be such a fun celebrity couple. And is why we really hope these pictures indicate something. Frankly, I wish the picture on the right even indicated Leonardo DiCaprio was there. I just don’t seem him in that blurry photo. But if he is somewhere in that impressionist blob, I hope that means that he and Rihanna have been courting and that it’s going well. (TMZ is trying to make the case that Rihanna is “the clingy one,” based on some random eyewitness testimony, but I don’t really buy it.) And it could mean that maybe someday they’ll get married, and Leonardo DiCaprio will stand in the sand in sandals and socks (you can’t change everything about a man, it turns out), a wedding on the beach, and there will be steel drum music playing and then he and Rihanna will be husband and wife. Wouldn’t that be fun? And she’ll joke that they found love in a hopeless place, meaning the Up and Down nightclub in New York City, and they’ll laugh and stroll down the beach together, both feeling like the king and queen of the world.
Or they’ll just make out at a few more nightclubs and then go their separate ways. Either option sounds fine!